---
title: "Micromarriages"
url: https://perrotta.dev/2025/03/micromarriages/
last_updated: 2025-03-17
---


[Russel Blickhan](https://rwblickhan.org/newsletters/micromarriages/):

> In risk analysis, a one-in-a-million chance of death is called a micromort. A
> skydiving jump, for instance, gives you 8 micromorts; you have about an
> 8-in-a-million chance of dying each time. The more jumps you do, the more
> micromorts you accrue. If you're going to be skydiving every week, then maybe
> you shouldn't also scale Everest, which is apparently 37,932 micromorts per
> ascent.

> Micromarriages are the same concept, applied to dating. Any given event gives
> you some chance in a million of meeting a life partner. So, if you're looking
> for a life partner, you should optimize for micromarriages. Maybe swiping on a
> dating app gets you one micromarriage per swipe. Maybe going to a party where
> you don't know anyone except the host gets you a few dozens micromarriages.
> Actually going on a date has to be at least few hundred micromarriages.

That's serendipity, in its simplest and purest form.

Perhaps I should coin the term _microserendipity_ to denote "bits of
serendipity" according to a given event.

> You can intentionally increase your exposure to micromarriages. You should go
> to that party where you don't know anyone except the host, even if you don't
> really feel like it. You should try a new hobby where you'll meet new people,
> like improv or a run club. You should cultivate relationships with at least a
> few socialites that will invite you to large events.

> Most people overrate the number of micromarriages from dating apps and
> underrate the number of micromarriages from in-person events. People you meet
> in person already share some context — they're at the same event, after all.
> Starting a conversation in person pre-filters for whether you get along. This
> doesn't have to involve matchmaking by your friends; simply going to more
> things in person will increase your micromarriages.

Some food for thought.

Meanwhile, a friend recently introduced me to the concept of [meet
cute](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meet_cute):

> A meet cute is a scene in media, in which two people meet for the first time,
> typically under unusual, humorous, or cute circumstances, and go on to form a
> future romantic couple.